I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
