there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
