Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Randomize
