Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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