I hope my margaritas pass through security.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
