"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
