She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
