"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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