too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
