Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize