I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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