Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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