Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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