My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
