How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
