Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize