just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
