I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
