He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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