its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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