he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize