smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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