I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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