Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize