i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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