So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
