Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
