Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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