last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize