And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize