just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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