yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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