If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
