This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
