You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
