My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
