The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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