i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
