Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
