just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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