the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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