your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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