Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
