Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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