Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
