Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
