well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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