apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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