If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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