I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
