How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
