Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize