i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
