Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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