we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my liver is dry heaving
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
