i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
