Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
