we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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