Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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