it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
