Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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