What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
