The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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